Zander moved to the couch after falling asleep at the table. He was so tired from playing all day with Abby and Harrison.

Zander sleeping at the dining room table

Irelynn getting her 1st official haircut. She looks like a big girl :(

Happy Sunday everyone. We just finished a VERY YUMMY meal. And I even pre heated the oven and "made" it myself! Thank you!

On Friday I was having such a good day. After I took Irelynn to the eye doctor I picked up my friends 2 kids. Harrison is 3 and is Zander's best friend. They go to school together too. Abby is 5 and also has DS. This was my first time spending any amount of time on my own with another child with DS besides Irelynn. I think I did pretty good! She is such a sweet little girl. Zander was sooooo tired from not having a nap that he fell asleep at the dinner table! That is after he brought me his jammies and asked me to help him put them on.

We had a pretty good weekend. We worked out in the yard alot on Saturday. I think it looks pretty good. We also got more work done inside too. The open house is behind us. I need to call our realtor and see if anyone came.

On Saturday... we took Irelynn to get her 1st haircut! It's technically her 3rd but it's her 1st official one. When she was just a few weeks old she got a HORRIBLE intestinal infection and they had to shave part of her head to put a PICC line in. Then in August when she had heart surgery, the nurses cut her hair because it got so tangled in the back. I was a little angry with them for that one.

I am still feeling pretty good. I am very anxious for Wednesday. I am wondering if all my treatments are going to be like this last one, or if I was fighting off this cold and it made it worse. I am hoping that is the case!

Thank you EVERYONE!

The day we brought Irelynn home. Zander was sleepy and hiding in my coat. So not the best family picture. But there we are with our 3 babies.

I was going to try and start each new post with a new picture. Not necessarily a NEW picture, but new to a lot of you.

Well, I had permission yesterday to have a pity party. I did a lot better than I thought I would. Frank and I have had a "tough road" we are very happy but it seems like we have had a lot of road blocks. On New Years Eve we had a nice conversation with a friend of ours and I told Frank that I am pretty proud of us for making it through the past year. In the last year you figure, Irelynn was born having Down Syndrome which was not expected. But we handled it pretty well I thought. So then we learn that we can't bring our baby home from the hospital like all the other new parents, instead she gets to take a Med Star trip to another hospital where we get to visit her wearing gowns for the next 7 weeks. Finally talking them into letting us take her home at 7 weeks we bring her home to meet her 2 big brothers. Yep her 2 big brothers. We made it through the 7 weeks having 2 kids at home and 1 in the hospital. And fighting to try an keep our middle child. In this time we also learned that she would need to have major heart surgery. So we end up "giving up" on Eli, which was the hardest thing we have ever had to do and we think of him EVERY DAY. So March 20th we said goodbye to Eli for the last time. Things go well for a couple months we adjust to life with just 2 kids. At the end of June Frank comes home from work (we were getting ready to leave on vacation) and tells me that he got laid off. All righty then, can we do anymore? So we turn this into a positive and say he needs to be home anyways while Irelynn has and recovers from heart surgery (which at this time has not been scheduled). So Frank was a stay at home dad for a couple months and actually got called back to work on the day Irelynn was released from the hospital after having her heart surgery... Perfect timing.



I guess that is all we had until January 26th. Oh I guess back to the pity party part though. Yesterday was Eli's 2nd birthday. I thought I would be more emotional. It's been 11 months since we saw him last, since we heard his cute little laugh, saw his big blue eyes and adorable smile. We are doing okay, but there is seriously not a single day that goes by that we don't think of him. He will always be our baby boy too.



The past 2 days I have been visited by members of my Yokes family. Everyone has been so kind and giving. Thank you to everyone. Most recently it was the Indian Trail Yokes and our Home Office. I am AMAZED! THANK YOU SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH! I know... I work in a grocery store, and I hate to grocery shop. You guys have made my week! Among other things. I have a yummy meal in the oven and we are looking forward to a new meal!



I guess I could tell you too, that I felt pretty good today. Made it through my week of work. I actually was able to take a nap today! I have not been sleeping at night and haven't even been able to take naps either. Looking forward to raking the yard tomorrow or Saturday I hope.

The Isbelle family. February 20, 2009. 25 days post diagnosis and 2 haircuts later.

For those of you that haven't heard of the FINAL addition to our family...Gilbert is our new Pug. I guess if we have it our way Zoee and Gilbert will fall madly in love and maybe have a litter or two.

I don't think I will EVER get a picture of both kids looking. Even the professional pictures don't work out. Oh well. They are adorable looking at the camera or not!






My big boy. I can't believe he is 3 and 3 months! I know I shouldn't be counting the months, but he is still my baby and I could telling you he is 3 years and 84 days!



I wasn't going to post today since I did yesterday and really there isn't anything going on. But I wanted to post and say "WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY!" I worked this morning and then my mom and the kids and I went for a nice drive. When we got home I took Zander out to jump on his trampoline. We also played some soccer. He is going to be one KICK A** soccer player next year when we get him started! He even dribbles the ball! I also had a request for some pictures. So I am posting one of our family taken just a couple days ago. I have been wanting to get one taken before my hair falls out. However, was not planning on doing it on this day. So I don't look to great. Not that I or anyone ever thinks they look good in a photo.

Oh by the way. I feel GREAT today. Haven't even taken any Tylenol today! I sure hope I feel this good this weekend. I would love to get some yard work done on Saturday to help get ready for the open house! I am a little tired, but that goes along with not sleeping at night among other things.

Good day to everyone! For the first time in almost a week I can honestly say I feel ALMOST "typical". I don't like the work normal, I prefer typical. I still have a head ache, but it is just that a head ache. Not the feeling that my head is going to explode or that my head is stuck in a clamp.

Sleep has become a rare thing for me. Just as I doze off I wake myself up and my head has hurt so bad, that I am not able to fall back to sleep. Last night I went to bed at 6:00. I was up every 15 to 20 minutes until about 12:30 or 1:00. I finally fall asleep and my alarm goes off just before 4:00... AM.

I returned to work for the first time in almost a week today. It was also the first day since my first Chemo. I went in last Wednesday but it was only for a few hours and I had my helper there doing most of the work. I wasn't sure I was going to make it. I was told by 2 people that I was very pale. I could only stand for a few minutes and had to sit down and regroup. At about 8:30 or so I felt hungry for the first time in a week. I ate some bacon and eggs from the deli and treated myself to a mocha (that took me until 1:30 to drink). I kept it down and am actully feeling hungry again!

If you had asked me yesterday or even this morning how I was going to do this, I would have told you there is absolutely no way I can work through this. But I can. I CAN do it. It's going to be tough and I am going to have to accept the help that people are offering. This is very tough for me. I also need to stop feeling guilty about being a bad mom and wife. If I can beat this, they can beat dealing with me for the next several months. I know that we were blessed when Irelynn was born. Learning of her Down Syndrome. We have been told my many that we are blessed. Though I don't know if people know the true reason we are blessed. Yes we are blessed because we have the most beautiful baby girl (and son), but what would I do if she were a typical child? A one year old to chase after?!?!?!? Irelynn is not an easy child when it comes to a lot of things, but at the same time... She is SOOOOOO much easier than a typical child! And she is sooooo easy going. The next several months may not be as beneficial to her as we would like, but she will survive. And I am going to be better off when I beat this, than I have been her ENTIRE LIFE! We will catch up.

Zander is finally feeling better. A trip to the Doctor on Thursday showed he was all clear of infections. It was a virus and there is nothing they can do for him. When he was doing worse on Friday, I called back because I was concerned he was getting dehydrated. After hearing him in the background, the nurse said they needed to see him again. Luckily they didn't have any appts until 6:40 in the evening so we were able to go as a family. Well by that time, he had an ear infection. I think it is number 4 of his life. So he is on meds and is finally feeling better. He is in desperate need of a bath and I feel bad that he went to school today without one. Luckily he has great teachers that understand! Also when I got to school to pick him up, he wasn't in his classroom. I first my heart kind of sunk. I thought "am I so out of it that I didn't remember that someone else was picking him up" or "who the heck is picking him up!" But they didn't let me stress for long. They are transitioning him to the "big kid" class. Yep, my baby is a big boy. He got to play on the big kid toys and take a nap with the big kids. Sad sad day. It is a good thing. Over the past few weeks he has started to get into more trouble. I think since his buddy Harrison was moved to the big kid class, Zander has started to get bored. I will miss his teachers, but I am sure the new ones will be just as great. And it is still in the same building...

I am thankful to the people that came over on Saturday and helped get our garage cleaned out and to just visit with me. I am thankful to the people that have carried my work upstairs for me and offered to bring me my meals so I don't have to go up and down the stairs at work. I am thankful to the people that have offered to cook us meals to freeze and to buy us diapers. As hard as it is for me to accept it, I am trying my hardest. I think I have realized that it helps you all out as much as it helps me. And Frank too really.

I may not post again for a few days since I don't have another Chemo until next Wednesday. I am hoping to feel better to help Frank get the house ready for our Open House on Sunday.

THANK YOU EVERYONE!

This morning was pretty bad for me. I was in a lot of pain. For the most part it has mostly gone away. I tossed and turned all night again. My ears feel like they are going to explode, my mouth hurts horribly and my jaw. I had to get a shot on Tuesday that causes joint pain. I guess mine went to my jaw joint... :) I am feeling a little better this afternoon, I am very concerned about Zander. He won't eat or drink anything. He has another appt in a few hours. I am worried he is getting dehydrated. My friend is bringing me a shake from McDonald's and I asked Zander if he wanted fries and he said no, so I asked him if he wanted nuggets and he said no, so I asked him if he wanted a shake and he said no. For a kid to turn down McDonald's, must mean he's not feeling well.

Irelynn went to the doctor today too. Thank you to Frankie for taking her :) She is losing weight which also concerns me. She pukes up EVERYTHING. Hopefully we can get to the bottom of this soon! She is a happy little thing all things considered!

We are happy to have some friends and family come over tomorrow to help us get some stuff done around the house. Some days I feel like we should take the house off the market, but at the same time, I don't want to be "stuck" here when it comes time for the kids to start school. We are having an open house next weekend. Maybe it will bring in a buyer. Cross your fingers and toes!

I finally was able to make my blog look a little cuter. We will see if I change it again. Thank you again everyone for your thoughts and prayers and kindness. It means the world to me.

Good morning all. Or afternoon or evening. Whatever it is when you are reading this. It is morning for me. I didn't sleep to well. Tossed and turned all night. I am pretty weak today. Not feeling like doing much but I need to get Zander to the doctor. So I am pushing myself to do it.

Yesterday was a bad day for me. I went to work for a few hours and actually felt pretty good. When I got off work I had to go in for a shot. Not sure of the name of it yet. It starts with an N. So it was no big deal but driving home, I just didn't feel right. I got home and ended up getting sick. Then I had the worst stomach cramps I have ever had in my entire life. At least that is what I think they were. Nothing could help me. Frank called the Oncologist office and they had him bring me right in. They gave me fluids through my port as well as some nausea meds. Frank went back to work and called 4 hours later to see if he could come get me. I slept the entire time I was there. I felt so much better though.

I felt well enough to go to Jeff Dunham with Frank, but I really didn't enjoy it too much. I just couldn't get comfy and I was soooo tired. I ended up going out to the car about 15 minutes before it was over. I hope Frank at least enjoyed it a little. I kind of wish I had sent him with someone else. Oh well too late now.

So Zander has an appt in about an hour. I am hoping we can get him feeling better. I think it will be a pretty lazy afternoon in the Isbelle house. When we get home, I think it will be nap time for all 3 of us. He is such a good boy and I feel bad I couldn't take him to the doctor yesterday like I should have. There was just no way :(

Thank you everyone once again. Sorry,just not into typing right now. I can't believe how many times I have had to delete because I made a mistake. Must be a sign.

Wow! That kicked my butt! Boy am I tired. They gave me benadryl and it knocked me out. I have a bit of a headache and an upset stomach. Nothing major. Just counting down the hour until I can take more nausea meds then I think I will go to bed.

We got home from the place at about 2:30 and I just laid down on the couch and went to sleep. I slept or dozed through much of the treatment too. I am not sure I will be able to drive myself to and from them if I have to have benadryl every time. I have said the people at Evergreen are so kind. And I have to say it again. The Doctors actually came around and spoke to each and every person in the infusion room. I don't know that just means a lot to me. They know each and every one of us and it makes me feel cared for.

I am glad I had the port put in. It was not a big deal at all today. They just accessed it and drew blood so they could do my blood work, then they started pumping drugs into it. ONE POKE TODAY! NO IV! And I didn't really even feel the poke. I do have to go back in tomorrow afternoon to get a shot. I guess I had to get a shot of one of the meds today to make sure I wasn't allergic to it. So 2 pokes today.

I don't really know what to say tonight. So far so good. I am one treatment closer to being done... Irelynn is in a mood today. Wanting to be held and I feel so weak I am scared to hold her. Zander is sick. He is floating right around 100 for a temp. He just got up on the couch to hide from Frank and ended up falling asleep. My poor baby. If he is still running a fever tomorrow I will take him in. Or try to take him in. He has no symptoms except his asthma cough, so the only thing I can think of is an ear infection. He says his ears don't hurt though.

I think I am going to bed now. Thank you everyone for caring for me. I will try and post over the next few days to let you all know how I feel. They are saying this weekend will be rough so we will see.

Tomorrow is the day. I am not really very nervous. At least not yet. I am soooo happy that Frankie took the day off to go with me. I really didn't want to go to my first one by myself. I went and cut my hair shorter today. Still trying to prepare Zander, and really myself too. My incisions from my port are still driving me crazy. I took the little bandages off today because I couldn't stand them anymore. I put a band aid over one of them, but the other one seems to be doing okay. Still don't have much pain. At least not from the port. It's weird. You can't see it, but you can see where it pops up a bit under my skin. I really hope that this first one doesn't affect me a whole lot. That's what I have heard. I shouldn't have a hard time until the 2nd or 3rd treatment. I have started my anxiety/nausea meds as directed by LOTS of people. Well off to slumber land for me. Thank you once again to everyone. I will try and post tomorrow night to tell you all about it! I know you will all be on the edge of your seat until you hear about it!

Most of you are probably amazed at how my daughter is sleeping. This is not a usual thing or a good thing. In the last week or so she has started sitting herself up. She does the splits like this and pushes herself up. It is very bad for her hips. But it was cute and I had to take a picture.

What a day today! I started it out once again waking up before the sun was up, in pain. So I once again came upstairs for a potty break and some ibuprofen. Played on facebook a little and went back down to bed for an hour or so. I had to wake up early (again) on my day off because I had 4 appts today! All for myself! Usually it is 4 appts in one day for Irelynn. Since I had surgery yesterday I couldn't drive this morning so Frankie dropped me off at the eye doctor before he went to work. My appt there was at 8:00. I made plans for Karin to pick me up there at about 9:00. She made it in time to help me pick out new glasses! I should get them next week. I have been getting sick of these ones. It's been 2 years.

From there we went and got very much deserved mochas :) Then it was up to the Oncologists office for Chemo school. I wanted someone with me to help me remember everything and I know Frank is going to be asking for a lot of time off so I asked my sister to go with me. It was very informative and ALOT of questions were answered. A chemo cycle is every 28 days but a cycle consists of 2 treatments. One every other week. Which is what I expected but the scheduler lady had me all confused. I don't think she knew what she was talking about. She isn't the "normal scheduler". I was told that I can no longer take Ibuprfen or aspirin. This is going to SUCK. As Frank says, I eat Ibuprofen like it is candy. I think they are going to send me back to my primary to get better relief for my sciatica. They also gave me a script for a wig! That surprised me.

From there we went to Target and Shopko and I got myself 4 hats! It was pretty fun. Then we went to lunch.

At 2:00 I had a PFT test to check my lungs and at 2:45 I had an EKG to check my heart. Some of the meds I will be on CAN cause heart disease and something with the lungs. So they wanted to see how they were doing to see how long I could be on the meds. I do have lungs and I do have a heart. No matter what some people say.

I finally got home to my babies at about 4:30. What a long day. I am feeling pretty good today as far as emotions go. Where my port was placed is a little tender. I thought I was allergic to the iodine they put on me before surgery, but since I told them that yesterday and they didn't use it and I still broke out, we are leading towards me being allergic to the tagaderm (bandage) that was placed over the incisions.

Well, I am getting to the point where I just want to go to bed. My wonderful hubby should be home any minute now and I am looking forward to seeing him. I am so lucky to have him.

Happy Day to all. I think it is best for me to just always start out by saying Thank you to everyone. I may still be a tad bit loopy so this one might be fun! Just kidding. A little.

So I had the port put in today. They originally said I would be "Consciously sedated" but when I woke up she told me she put me all the way out because I was nervous. I don't recall being nervous. I was a little frustrated because they were pretty behind. So about the time I was expecting to get out of surgery I was just going in. I don't remember who originally told me about the port, but they said I would have a tube about 6 inches coming out of my chest. This was kind of a concern to me, having a 3 year old and a 1 year old. Especially with Irelynn. She likes pulling tubes out. Granted they are usually going into her tummy not mommy's chest. So the port is under my skin and as soon as it heals there will be 3 prongs that will "poke up" I can't really tell whats going on with it right now. I have only been home about an hour or so. I guess I will get my Chemo through it, but they will also be able to draw my blood from it! Yipee!

Things are strange for me. The first week or so after my diagnosis, I actually had more good days than bad. That has reversed. I have been very emotional. I think it is just becoming more real. Also how kind people have been really gets to me. I don't have any pain really. Pain in the neck on occasion that isn't Frank ;) And pain in my butt (sciatica) that isn't Zander ;) Just kidding my boys are not pains!

Chemo school is tomorrow and I am glad my sister is going. She will remember everything that we are told and I am sure she will ask all the right questions. Frank has taken Tuesday off to go to my first Chemo treatment with me. I will usually do them on Wednesday, but we have tickets to Jeff Dunham on Wednesday so I am hoping I will be feeling okay by the evening to still go. If not, Frank may have a nice date with my nephew Tanner. We had a nice double date planned with my friend Stephanie and her husband. We were going to go to Olive Garden for dinner and then go see Jeff Dunham. I told Stephanie that I don't think we will make it to dinner, but I am going to try my hardest. The doc said the first treatment may not affect me too bad.

What else is happening... Our realtor called yesterday. I asked her the rules on taking the house off the market, which Frank and I have NOT discussed and at this time are not planning on it. She said if we wanted to she wouldn't mind. And she didn't even know about the cancer. She wants to do an open house. So the 27th we will have our first open house. I think we are going to drop the price one or two thousand to see if we can get more people looking. It would be such a HUGE relief if we could just sell the house. Just to not have to worry about it. Granted then we have to worry about finding somewhere to live with our 2 dogs. I am surely not going to want to look at houses too much for a while.

Since Frank went back to work we have had a wonderful arrangement with a friend of mine as far as child care goes. She was watching Irelynn for us while we worked during the day and we would watch Logan in the evening while she worked. It was so nice just trading daycare and not having to worry about paying someone. Unfortunately, I just don't have the energy right now to have an extra baby and with all my appts we had to bale on our friend. This was soooo hard for me. A lot harder than I expected it to be. We have been watching Logan since September and she is a little part of our family as is Alycia. I am glad that she found someone she could trust and hopefully WHEN I beat this we can resume our arrangement.

I feel like there was so much more I wanted to say, but I just can't think of anything right now. Guess that means it's time to go.

Just a quick note tonight to fill everyone in. I am extremely tired and need to get to bed. So I was really looking forward to today's appointment. I thought it would answer a lot of questions, but I am just totally confused right now. I can tell you, I am stage 2a. The "a" means I have no symptoms. And then he added an "unfavorable" to the end. This means the cancer has spread and is in more than 3 areas. So my neck/collar bone on both sides, my chest (around my windpipe) and under my right arm. There is an 80% cure rate still and it won't change the treatment plan at all.

That is where my confusion is. I don't know when I will have Chemo. There is question as to weather it will be every other week or once a month.

I go in on Thursday to have a port put in my chest. This will remain there for the entire time I am battling this or 2 years. I will have a tube coming out of my chest about 6 inches. On Friday I go in for Chemo school. My sister Karin is going to go with me and drive me around all day :) since I can't drive for 24 hours after my surgery. Bring a book! I also have a couple other appts. An EKG and something else I think. I don't know, I just go where they tell me.

Sorry no "deep thoughts" tonight. I am having yet another rough day. I am just so tired of not knowing.

I will try and post again on Friday, when I might know something.

Thank you once again to EVERYONE!

How to start today... I think once again I need to start off by saying THANK YOU! I feel so loved by the outpouring of support I have received over the last 2 weeks. From meals left on our front porch (by Frank's parents) to cards and money (you know who you are). I keep thinking about buying thank you cards, but haven't done it yet. But I have THOUGHT about it and isn't it the thought that counts ;).

A lot has been going through my mind the last couple weeks. One thing that goes through it over and over again is that I am glad my kids are still young enough that they hopefully won't remember this. Zander knows that I have owies and I tried last night to explain to him that they aren't going to go away for a very long time. He is a good boy and I think he will be a big help even though he's only 3. I also went and cut my hair last week. Trying to prepare him for it possibly going away. I might go cut it shorter next week, but I want to wait and see what drug I will be on for chemo and do some research. Dr. Anthony said it may thin but I may not lose it all. I have issues with hair and if it starts coming out in clumps, I will have no choice but to shave my head. Hair grosses me out. And Kimberly (my sister), you don't need to shave your head. I won't hold you to it but I appreciate the offer. At this point I SAY that I will be okay with being bald. I think I am okay with it because I still have a full head of it. I honestly think it will be a day by day thing and the day I shave it if I have to will be very emotional. For the time being, I am having fun shopping for hats.

People have also been asking about how Frank is doing. By appearance he looks good. I asked him though this morning how he was doing and he said "if you are okay, I am okay". I know I have been blessed with a wonderful husband. I have been told by so many people that he is a good dad, which he is. I thank god every day for him. Sometimes I have to admit... He is a "normal husband" that I could do without ;). I worry that he will get stressed out from this extra burden. I don't think he will ever let me see it though.

I don't want to leave Irelynn out. She is really too young to remember this. She is a good girl too. Growing like a weed and as happy as can be :).

Today has been a rough day emotionally. I miss my mom like I never thought I could. But she is where she needs to be and I DON'T WANT YOU TO COME HOME FOR ME! I think knowing that she isn't 1.3 miles down the road or even a few hours away in the Tri-Cities makes it harder. I can't just get in the car this weekend and go see her. For multiple reasons. "I want to come see you, but we need time to get used to this! I will treasure the week you are home at the end of the month and again in April".

So the "big appointment" is tomorrow. I am very excited. You would think we were going to have our first ultrasound or something. I think it will just answer so many questions. And I need that right now.

I will try my hardest to post tomorrow to let you all know what Stage I am and what the next step is.

I also want people to know that as much as I am doing this blog for you all, I am doing it for myself at the same time. For some strange reason, I am thinking I might want to remember this "jouney" I am on. I also type things, that I don't know if I could ever say out loud.

Okay so like I said before, this is my first attempt at this and I don't really know what I am doing. So I am going to start off by just saying thank you everyone.

So I woke up this morning at about 6:30 with a HORRIBLE headache. I came upstairs thinking I would use the bathroom and take some aspirin and go back to sleep. Then I decided to feed Irelynn. We are in the process of getting her off her all night feeds. Since she pukes ALL THE TIME I played on facebook while she ate and did the dishes. At about 8 or so, I don't really know, I heard Zander calling to me from the basement. I went back down stairs and layed down with him. I guess I fell back to sleep and Frank let me! I slept until 12:19!

I have some pain in my neck today. This is the second time in a few weeks. I'm not real sure why it hurts. I thought it would go away when the lymph node was taken out. It may just be a coincidence, it may be the cancer. I think I will ask on Tuesday. We decided the entire family needed some "therapy" today. So we went down town to Macy's Clearance center. Gotta love that place!

Hoping (and pretty sure I won't have a problem) I will be able to go to sleep at a normal time tonight. Sorry not much to report today. Zander can spell his name though!

January 28th 2010~ I had my first appt with the Oncologist today. Dr. Anthony is a very nice man and is ready to get the ball rolling. He did a physical and we looked over my CT scan together. At this point he felt the cancer was only in the area of the removed lymph node. He said I would be a Stage I or possibly a stage II. He got me right in for another CT scan and a bone marrow biopsy.

January 29th 2010~ The people at Evergreen Hemotolgy and Oncology are all wonderful. As are my family and friends that know what is going on. Frank's dad babysat the kids on his own for the first time. And probably about the 3rd time watching Irelynn at all. I am not one to part with my kids. It is VERY rare for them to be with a babysitter unless we are working.

So I was lucky enough to get to drink some barium before this appt. YUM YUM :( I got to the office and they put an IV in me. I sat for quite some time and was finally taken in to have the CT scan done. I then returned to the infusion area and waited for my time to do the bone marrow biopsy. It seemed like forever! While I was waiting Dr. Anthony came in and spoke with me and said that from the looks of the CT scan it looked like my lymph nodes in my upper chest area are also an area of concern as well as the lymph node on the opposite side from the one that was removed. He said he would know more after my PET scan on Tuesday and we would go over everything at our follow up appt on the 9th.
Finally it was time to do the bone marrow biopsy. The procedure itself was not a problem at all. I was "consiously sedated". It was SOOOO painful for about 3 days afterwords! I think mostly because it was on my lower back, upper bottom so it was very painful to sit and sleep. Now we are back to the waiting game...

January 30th 2010~ I have been in a lot of pain today from the bone marrow biopsy. I called a very good friend of the family (Sheryl Sedra) both to let her know what was going on and to get some support. Her son who was like a little brother to me for years lost his very long fight with Leukemia about 10 1/2 years ago. I spent my 21st birthday at his funeral. My friend Arlie and her kids also came over to play which was very nice. I kicked Frank out of the house for a while.

Feb 2nd 2010~ Today I had a PET scan. I wasn't too "scared" about this test, at least not about having it done. Just figured it was like the CT scan. I got to Evergreen and walked myself back to the infusion room (3rd appt there and they know my name and let me pretend I own the place ;)). I assumed it was quick and easy so I didn't take a book to read or anything to do. I don't even have a cell phone to play games on. So they put my IV in and took some blood. I have had more IVs in the last few weeks than I have ever had in my life. After about 45 minutes they finally came and got me to do the PET scan. I should have done more research... They put something radioactive into my IV and said I had to wait 2 hours for it to all get into my body. I actually asked him if he was serious. I tried to take a little nap to pass the time and he offered me a book to read, but I couldn't get into it. It did help me to fall asleep for a bit though.

So finally its my turn to do the scan which takes about 45 minutes. I did a great job though! He even showed me the scan afterwords. We still have to wait until the 9th for the "official results" but the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes in my chest area as well as the other side of my neck. I think this still keeps me at a Stage II.

I believe I am looking at 6-8 months of Chemotherapy. There is a very high cure rate with this type of cancer, but it is still cancer, which scares me to death. There are some days that I can't even look at my kids without crying. Some days go by like nothing is wrong at all. I am glad to at least have an idea of why I have been so run down. It is kind of depressing, we had such a long winter last year and almost no summer.And then add Irelynn and her heart surgery and other 2 surgeries, I was really looking forward to this spring and summer. I pray that I will be well enough to go to our 6th annual opening day for the Mariners on April 12th. I will truely break my heart if I ruin this tradition for our family.

As of right now, this is what I know. I will update this as I learn more and occasionally just to let you know how my day is going.

I want to thank all of my family and friends that know what has been going on and have stepped up to the plate and offered support. It means the world to me.